Computer Laughs

Computer Laughs

 Computer Resources for allHere are some laughs for you techies and non-techies – yes, I know you are out there!

Calls to Technical Support:Tech support:    What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:          A white one…
Tech support:    Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:          Your left or my left?

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Customer:    Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try,

it says ‘can’t find printer’.  I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,
but the computer still says he can’t find it..

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Customer:         My keyboard  is not working anymore.
Tech support:    Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer:          No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support:    Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:           OK
Tech support:    Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:          Yes
Tech support:   That means the keyboard  is not plugged in.

*************************

Customer:            I can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support:      Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:            Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech  support:    Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:           Five dots.
*************************
Tech  support:   What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:          Netscape.
Tech support:    That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer:          Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer..
*************************

computer mouseCustomer:     I have a huge problem.
A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

*************************

Tech support:     How may I help you?
Customer:           I’m writing my first email.
Tech support:    OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:          Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
*************************
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support:     Are you running it under windows?

Customer:   ‘No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.’
************************
Tech  support:    ‘Okay Bob, let’s  press the control and escape keys at the same time.

That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.’
Customer:          I don’t have a P.

Tech  support:   On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer:          What do you mean?

Tech support:   ‘P’…..on your  keyboard, Bob.

Customer:   I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

Thanks to Stillwaters resident Mary Chandler for sharing this hillarious techie humor!

GladsQuote of the Week:  Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.  – Clifford Stoll

Favorite website of the Day:  Baby Red Tail Hawks! at http://cams.allaboutbirds.org/channel/16/Red-tailed_Hawks/

Happenings this week:

Tonight:  The American Association of University Women will be meeting at The Gathering Place, here at Stillwaters at 6:30 p.m.  The topic is “Whistlekick Pygoras”, all about a recent book by Terri Kistler on Pygora goats.  All are welcome.

Also Tonight: Wildflower walk on Seminary Hill.  Starts at 6:30 p.m.  Starts at the Main Entrance to the parking lot located at the corner of East Locust Street and Barner Drive, Centralia.  

Saturday, May 9th:  Centralia’s Fox Theatre Film Series presents “Rebel without a Cause”, a 1955 American classic.  Starring James Dean and Natalie Wood.  2:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. showtimes.  $8 Admission.

Saturday, May 9th:  Annual Letter Carriers “Fill a Bag” campaign, collecting food for local food banks.  Fill a grocery bag with canned or boxed food and leave by the mailbox for pickup Saturday.  If you put the donations out before noon on Saturday you should be able to safely be sure to catch or mail carrier.

Wednesday, May 13th: Financial Planning Seminar at 2:00 p.m. here at the Gathering Place.  Elder Attorney Richard Paroutaud and Bruce Bamford, Long Term Care expert will talk about wills, trusts, estate taxes and how to financialy prepare for long term care.  The session is open to residents and guests and will be about 2 hours in length.  Pre-registration is requested by calling Sherri at 736-4744.  After hours you can leave a message to reserve a spot.

SunshineWeather:  Sunshine till Sunday!  The temperatures will stay warm (70 today, 79 Friday and 82 on Saturday) before going back into a partly cloudy forecast for the week after that.  Great gardening weather!


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